Dating video goes wrong
In the end, I hugged him goodbye and thanked him for dinner.When he texted me the following day, I told him that, although he was lovely, it was probably best we went our separate ways.These men would retreat often, pushing me away, before returning with more promises about the kind of guy they were, sprinkling pretty words all over my tattered heart. Only I defined and chose my type, my type did not choose me, and I had the power to turn the tides. It also dawned on me that I hadn’t been called upon to “solve” any of their problems.I believed them, because there wasn’t another option; their behavior was all I knew, and everything I was conditioned to cope with. These friends built me up, and they never packed drama.I observed the many men who passed through my life, from family members to guy friends, friends’ boyfriends to work acquaintances.I have noted every time my dad gets the car door for my mom, 30 years into their marriage.
I wasn’t taking late-night phone calls to argue or vent. It dawned on me that the same principle applied to my romantic relationships.
I always walked away feeling the weight of all the raw edges inside my body; wounds he’d cut open months before, aching and not yet healed.
I let the pain sit inside me for a night, and then I’d try to block out all feeling the next morning.
I was numb to new prospects, and unsure what I was looking for.
For me, dating has always been about building a long-term connection—one that I had never been able sustain.