Dating guidelines for newly divorced women
I wasn’t ready, so I took my counselor’s advice and read ‘’ by Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti. But that way, my focus shifts so I’m not disappointed when I don’t find a great guy to date. That generally means lending a listening ear or giving some words of encouragement. If you simply can’t face another activity, take a break for a month or two. I have young children so I can’t easily relocate so I restrict my dating criteria to locals. I’ve actually had more luck with finding men on Facebook.
(Available on Amazon HERE)This book took me through the mental work I needed to do to get me on the road to being relationship ready again. Go work on your hobbies, spend time with family, whatever. I’ve had a few decent dates with guys on Planet and been catfished once. Mutual is still fairly new so doesn’t have many people to choose from yet. Of course I spend an inordinate amount of time on there, which I don’t recommend for people that have a life!
I am also extremely cautious of men who are in recovery, especially because I have young children in my home.
I cannot risk exposing them to use of any substances and the effects they bring. So my tip would be: Stay emotionally detached long enough to know what this potential partner is dealing with. Then once you have gathered the important information, use logic and the Spirit.
You see carefully selected pictures, a few facts, and if you’re lucky a few paragraphs about the person.
Not only does this not give you a sense of who the person really is, but it’s an opportunity for people to misrepresent themselves.
For example, I dated a fellow once that had a DUI not many months previously and was now required to blow into a breathalyzer in his vehicle before he could drive anywhere. If I didn’t have children, I might consider taking that kind of challenge on. If you have a history of dating someone with addictions, is it really a good idea to take it on?
(Long story short I had been on Planet about 6 months earlier and had a few phone calls with a guy who I googled and found to be an entirely different guy-different picture, different name-than the one in his profile. For those lucky enough to not know what catfishing is, the definition I found online is “lure (someone) into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona.” That pretty much sums it up.I was in a mood so I agreed to meet him for a short hike in a very public place that same day.He told me that he no longer had a beard like the one in his picture because he had grown that as a dare for work. I could attract and keep three men pursuing me, all at the same time! Or you don’t see your kids as often as you want to, and that makes you sad. So where do you find these potential love interests? If you happen to live in Utah, Idaho, or Arizona, you might find a very good selection of folks to date this way. Once you’ve been to enough of these you’ve met pretty much everyone in the group.After my three guy phase, I decided maybe the naysayers were right. It goes a little something like this, “Please let me find a great guy to date. If I can’t have fun, let me find someone that needs my help.” One of those things usually happens.