Dating aamna

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The criticism—direct and implied—that I’ve felt most keenly comes from a less expected demographic: woke millennials of color.

I felt this most acutely in communities I’ve developed as a feminist.

In fact, when I first set out to meet his white, British family, I asked if he had told them I was black.

His reply—”no, I don’t think they’d care”—filled me with dread.

And I’m not alone: several black and Asian friends tell me they’ve reached a point that they feel awkward introducing their white partners.

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Each time she marries, is she in a different status with her own blackness? Does my partner’s whiteness have any effect on my blackness?

It wouldn’t have surprised me if they balked: Families forbidding dating outside the clan is a story much older than .

But as it turned out, both our families have welcomed and supported our relationship.

His whiteness hasn’t prevented the microaggressions and presumptions I face daily.

It doesn’t make my family immune to structural racism and state violence.

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