The criticism—direct and implied—that I’ve felt most keenly comes from a less expected demographic: woke millennials of color.
I felt this most acutely in communities I’ve developed as a feminist.
In fact, when I first set out to meet his white, British family, I asked if he had told them I was black.
His reply—”no, I don’t think they’d care”—filled me with dread.
And I’m not alone: several black and Asian friends tell me they’ve reached a point that they feel awkward introducing their white partners.
Each time she marries, is she in a different status with her own blackness? Does my partner’s whiteness have any effect on my blackness?
It wouldn’t have surprised me if they balked: Families forbidding dating outside the clan is a story much older than .
But as it turned out, both our families have welcomed and supported our relationship.
His whiteness hasn’t prevented the microaggressions and presumptions I face daily.
It doesn’t make my family immune to structural racism and state violence.