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You will stick to having a cup of coffee by meeting at a cafe next time. What percentage of those gay men are positive or open to dating someone who is positive? Even an apparent disaster, a bar encounter at which the other person succeeds in quickly getting drunk, for example, can be useful. If you live in a small town in a small state, what percentage of men are gay?
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After the first day or two of chatting, go have lunch. Have a conversation—have several conversations—and exchange emails. The reality is that he could be anywhere, could live anywhere. He might, or might not, use a dating site, a dating company, have, or not have, a personal ad somewhere. There are no support groups, no social activities with other positive people out here; there are no retreats that those of us who are low-income can afford.
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It also helps connect those looking for friendships.